Episode 52: How to Use Your Reticular Activating System in Your Life & Business with Therapist Dawn Wiggins

Hi, welcome back. Thanks for letting me be in your ear this week. I know there's like a bajillion podcasts to choose from. And you're listening to me. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So one of the cool things about having a podcast is like, I feel like I've come across, since I've started out in this online business world, and people can poopoo social media all they want, but it has brought me so many amazing friends. And I don't use the word friends lightly, like actual friends and connections, who like people who this is gonna sound so cheesy, and if you know me in real life, like not a cheesy person, but it's true. Like so many people who just like, spire me, and just like wow, like, if it weren't for Instagram, I would have never known you. And Don Wiggins, my guest today is an example of one of those people. So Don, and I hear my text dinging in the background, real life, sorry, to my podcasts that or you can leave that in. Don and I met in a mastermind last year, it was really small mastermind. And she and I just like immediately hit it off. We have a lot of random things in common. And we got to meet in person at the masterminds retreat in Tampa. And again, she would have just really hit it off. So Don is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. But she's, and she's been a therapist for a really long time. She focuses on divorce, but she's really, she's like the coolest. She's been into homeopathy recently. On her bio, she says she's a rebel healer and change maker. She's, she said about 10 years into her career, she thought traditional talk therapy sucks, and it doesn't work as well as it needs to. So that's when she became trained in EMDR. And EMDR was really one of her first innovative approaches that she started using in her private practice. So today, she uses multiple modalities ranging from EMDR, EFT, homeopathy, and other remedies for the mind and body because you can't heal one without the other. She's a top ranked therapist, she's garnered a waitlist of a top secret, who's who clientele and her truest mission is to deliver life changing therapeutic tools in an accessible, affordable way. That creates real change in the world of mental health. So Dawn is also a podcaster. She has a podcast called Dear divorce diary. And today, what we're talking about is no not divorce or homeopathy. Really, we talk about it some, we're actually talking about your reticular activating system. And you're like, Molly, you're a marketing podcast. Why are you talking about the brain and the reticular activating system? Well, for a couple reasons, I would be remiss if I didn't say, mindset work is so much of what keeps people stuck from actually being able to use social media effectively, to grow their practice with like dream patients. Or if you have an online business, to grow your online health or life coaching business with like dream clients, so much of it is mindset. And that can just not feel sexy, right? It's like, just give me the tactics. But Don today dives into why the RAS, your reticular activating system, like how it works, and how we can really harness its power in our life or business or marketing. You name it, and it was just like a fascinating conversation. So I hope you enjoy it. Without further ado, here is a conversation between my friend Don and me. Welcome to holistic marketing simplified a podcast for health and wellness professionals looking to simplify their marketing. I'm your host, Molly Cahill. And this podcast is brought to you by my marketing roadmap, which is a five episode private audio training that's kind of like this podcast, but not exactly because it's not available to the general public when you search on your podcast feed so the great thing about consuming free content like this for me or on my Instagram or my blogs or whatever, is that yes, you will learn a lot but you kind of have to go searching for what it is exactly you're looking for. This five episode private podcast is broken down in a logical step by step order. That's why it's called a roadmap. If you're ready to get started on your Instagram marketing journey, or if you already are started and you're just feel like you're kind of like overwhelmed with all of the different free information. This is a super clear roadmap with lots of tangible step by step action items that will get you from point A to point B for just $27 So all you have to do is head to Molly cahill.com/private training and based on the reviews I've had so far I know you won't be disappointed

Hello, my name is Dr. Abby Parrish and I'm a chiropractor located in old town down Alabama and I listen to the holistic marketing simplified podcast.

Okay, we have already been chatting, Don sounds like crap I'm not recording this and all of this is great conversation that needs to be recorded. So yeah, I'm so happy to have my friend Don on today we met in person back in May at a retreat, we were in the same mastermind group and we just had we well, we hit it off before them virtually. And we have so many weird things in common common birthdays and single like, you know, one dog or girl chat? Yes, yeah. Ah, and then we just go to put our lipstick on and we have the same freakin Mineral Fusion linbro generators with Yeah, but yeah, it's just all very funny. And we like love Jen generally love the same Instagram accounts too. Soon, like she sent me one there that I can't believe would have following this person. But so today, we have a very, very interesting topic that I saw Don post on her stories about and I was like, Okay, please come on the podcast and talk about this. And considering a lot of my audience or health and wellness professionals with the vast majority skewing towards chiropractors, just because that's kind of how it's worked out. You will love this episode because we're gonna like nerd out on all things. reticular activating system, obviously, we'll just say rad swing gonna say the whole Yeah. Um, and yeah, so we're talking about that. But first, Don, like, why are you qualified to talk to us about this dawn?

Okay, I am not a neuroscientist. Sometimes I play one on podcasts. But yeah, so I'm a therapist, that I'm just like, you geeks out on all of the subconscious work. So and the razz is the bridge between the subconscious mind and the conscious mind. And so when you are doing all of the subconscious work, and you understand the neurobiology of how it works, right, I think it I've always loved the blending of the science and the spirituality, which you love to call the Woo. Yes, but the truth is, is that the woo has all the science underneath it. It's just usually so complicated. Don't

interrupt me. Did I get you following the felt sense? Yes, you did. Yes. Yes. She's like, it's so funny. You start off this going, like, oh, there's no way that there is like this thing called God or like, I'm not religious. And once you start getting like the, quote, scientific path, and then once you kind of like are on it long enough, you're like, Oh, crap, there definitely is a god. There definitely is. So I don't know what to call it, whether you're religious or more spiritual, like I am, it's just kind of it's funny how you're like, you start off at the beginning, like Oh,

and 1.1 always ends up pointing to the other. Yeah. So I've just always been passionate about being a therapist. And I've always been drawn to finding the synchronicity between the science and the spirituality, if you will. And so you know, the subconscious work in healing in therapy, really, what we're doing in therapy is we're finding deeper levels of self acceptance and oneness with ourselves and God and other people. But the science behind that is got a lot to do with the reticular activating system, or the RAS.

So let's just let's talk about some basic. I don't know definitions first. So when you talk about the conscious versus the subconscious mind, which is so funny, because I literally write content for this all the time for another client I have who practices German new medicine, but tell me about your definitions of like to the layperson, subconscious and conscious mind. Yeah, so the subconscious

mind is like all the programs that are running in the back of the system, the, you know, the backend of the system that you're not necessarily aware of, but it's like, you know, it's we're breathing without thinking about it, our heart is beating without thinking about it. We're making decisions all day long. And we're not necessarily thinking about the execution of every decision. So if you think a lot about how we drive a car, right? There's such a bridge when you drive a car between the conscious and the subconscious, so, and the Raz is exactly what effectuates it. So imagine you're driving along and all of a sudden you see brake lights in front of you and your foot moves from the gas to the brake, that is right there. The conscious into the subconscious and the razzes the bridge, okay, because you get feedback from your environment, the brake lights in front of you. And you've programmed your brain from practicing first from studying the book and then taking the driver's test and then driving around and practicing that when you see brake lights, you know that braking is happening and your foot moves really without you telling it to right Yeah, right. And so that's on the subconscious mind. The RAS was already programmed to know you have to stop the car is bad shit happen. Am I allowed to curse here? Yeah. Bad Shit happens. And then your foot moves and like then it kind of you kind of become conscious of it. All right, and you're like, oh, Uh, you know, let me notice more specifically what's happening in traffic if I need to adjust. So the conscious mind is where we like, know, we're making a decision. And we're like, you know, do I want brownies or carrots? And we're, you know, asking ourselves that question and having that answer come, that's like a conscious choice. But so much of what happens in our day, more of what happens in our day is happening below our awareness. And the RAS is the bundle of nerves. That is the bridge between those two functions. Okay.

So I always explain the reticular activating there as as the best example, I always think of, it's like, Alright, when I first bought a new car in 2014, my car is like, almost 10 years old. Now. I'm realizing, like, I want a white Ford Edge. And so then all you see on the road magically are Whiteford edges in your life. Wait, did everybody else just go out and buy a white Friday? Yeah,

yeah, cuz you never noticed that before that because you weren't focused on it or that? Yeah. Yeah.

And there are just so many places I want to take this conversation about, I didn't know it was that bridge part. So I'd love for you to expand on that. Yeah. But I want to talk about how it plays into. I mean, think about it. Social media algorithms, like, law of attraction, like

you name you know, the razz is the explanation for why Law of Attraction works. Yeah, right, because law of attraction is all about, where I focus is what becomes manifested. And the US programming our Raz, because it is programmable. Not all of it, but the habitual part of it is. So the RAS has a whole lot of functions that are not to do with this aspect of it, we're talking about right there, because the RAS is filtering input all day long. For us. It's filtering, whether it's day or it's night. And so when to sleep, right? It's got a lot of hypothalamic involvement about when to sleep and when to wake, it has to do with that muscle control piece like I was talking about in the car, right? It helps us move our muscles based on input. Like if the balls flying on our face, it's the thing that allows us to like throw a hand up and say, protect oneself, right. And then in the habit section of our life, which is the law of attraction piece, it helps us determine what data to pay attention to in our environment. So for instance, you know, if you just like you said about the car, right? Or if you're picking a baby name, and then all of a sudden you'll notice the name. Kids names this thing? Yeah, yeah. But but it's very much in relationship to our deep rooted beliefs and our intentions. And the word intention is so magical when it comes to the rise. Because if I set an intention to increase my social media strategy, or increase my visibility, this is actually how I landed on your podcast. I set an intention in the last quarter of this year. To increase my podcast visibility, I hired coaches to help me rebrand my podcast, which is the rebrand is launching January 2. And I started getting really consistent on social media on stories talking about things that lit me up. And you responded and invited me on your podcast. And that's how it works, right? setting an intention and having a focus. And things that were often already available, suddenly become more clear, because just like you said, I've chosen to focus on it. And now it's like, ding

there's a lot of places. I've just so funny. I was thinking about this conversation last night, I was like, I have so many questions to ask her. I gotta make sure I'm on track. But maybe like I said, my, my definition was like the whole, like seeing the Whiteford edge on the road. I did not know up until literally just now when you said said this, that it had anything to do with those more like immediate reactions, like pressing the brakes or whatever. So if you want to talk a little more about that versus like, my, my, when I think of the rise, I think of like, oh, it's always like when you're at the eye doctor, and they're like, lens one, lens two, it's like, oh, no, I'm on limbs too. So I'm only looking for things through this lens and lens one is like, closed, you know, that's kind of how I've always thought about it. So tell me more about the like reactions and like the automatic reactions

and yeah, so the razz is where our senses integrate, right? Like all of our senses, except for smell dumped into the RAS. And so it's, it's filtering all of that sensory input. So what we see what we smell, what we taste, what we touch, what we hear, and integrating all of that and then deciding what to react to and what not to react to based on our

beliefs. Okay, okay. So is that where it's like, Okay, I've had this belief or perception that you know, this thing happened to me when I was a kid. And so now I've got this like, this is like, it's almost like a shortcut. It's like oh, your your conscious minds like cool. We don't have to filter through this anymore because we already have a program store.

program running for it exists. actly. So for instance, let's say you got hit in the face by basketball, when you were young, you're more likely to be more alerted spotting all those white cars, right? spotting all the basketballs in your environment, you're more likely to notice basketballs in your environment than somebody else's, because you experienced a negative impact with a basketball, whereas somebody else might not ever even notice, or like it would just be in the like, they wouldn't even notice. And the really interesting thing about the rise is it doesn't just filter things, it doesn't just decide what to filter in what to notice. It also also filters things out that are contrary to it. And this is the real key about law of attraction that I think is not understood well enough or practice well enough by a lot of people. So when we talk about in law of attraction, and even in talk therapy, and why think talk therapy is dying, or needs to die in a particular context, is that

question I have for you. So I'm tabling that keep going. Okay.

So when we talk about the negative things, we're filtering, we've taught the RAS to filter out positive things. And the razzes program runs on repetition, right? The more you repeat something, the more it's clear about its strategy. So the more we gossip, the more we complain, the more we focus on, you know, call up our girlfriends and get them to cosign or bullshit about what our husband did or what you know, it really is reinforcing the Raza strategy to filter out positive stuff. And that is the neurobiology of how law of attraction where if you're listening to like Esther Hicks, for instance, talk about not like she mocks therapy. Because you go to therapy, and you're often focusing on the negative. And I think this has been an awesome trend that I've been seeing on Instagram, just this month, is people talking about ancestral patterns, and not just focusing on the negatives, but focusing on the gifts that were given to our ancestors, right, and that's reprogramming the rise right there is to stop relating to the people who did the traumas or whatever, hand us down, and really start focusing on the gifts. This is how we start to live shame. This is how we start to have greater self acceptance. This is how we start to feel lighter and more optimistic and hopeful about so many things. And that all is that rise between the subconscious and conscious mind bridging it based on whatever we've programmed or repetitively done.

So this is like so because so my coach Chelsea anytime like if we if we get on a call, and I happen to be in like a particularly stressful situation. I'll start going down. Well, then this happened, and this happened. And she literally will interrupt me and stop me. And it used to piss me off. I'd be like, no, like, but but but you're spiraling like, yep, yep. Okay, I like what I thought I was just event I thought I was supposed to get it out. Yeah, yeah. So I want to talk about that. But I also want to ask, and this is like, this is still something I think I'm still figuring out, and I'd love to hear your answer on this. And then I'll kind of give you what i've conclusion have come to so far when he says conclusion, what I've come to at this point in my journey, but let's talk about how like when is it toxic positivity and gaslighting your feelings? And when is it like? No, we can literally retrain our brain to notice the positive.

Yeah, it's so good. So good. Toxic positivity is like it's the tendency towards focusing on the positive, without acknowledging that the darker shadow stuff does need to be transmuted. Right. So toxic positivity, I would talk about more as like a suppression or repression or denial around the shadow stuff, and not a circling back around to heal it or transmute it. And so that's like, I'm just going to pretend it's not there. A truly integrated. Integrated positivity is going to be able to tolerate sitting with people's dark stuff without getting super triggered, it's going to be able to tolerate being in proximity, right? Because toxic positivity, those folks tend to be like, a little self righteous about, oh, no, I don't want to hear your negativity. Don't buy XayLi Good Vibes only right? But I can tell I can tell you as a therapist who's done a lot of shadow work, meaning sitting with my dark stuff and acknowledging and honoring it, right, I can sit with your dark stuff really easily. Now I'm gonna interrupt you when you're looping on your dark stuff, because I know it's reinforcing that programming of that razz it's filtering out the positive stuff, so I know it's inhibiting your progress. But it doesn't pay me to sit with your darkness. I'm just as happy to sit with your dark as I am with your light and that's because I've integrated all of that and I understand it's that's the yin and the yang. That's

gonna be my new favorite word is integrated positivity. I've never heard that love that. For me, I think we're I've gotten to like I say this is definitely not the said conclusion conclusion is not the right word because I'm not very Yeah, we're on insurance moldings a journey, right? Well, I don't think and that's the other thing. That is one that is one for sure. Conclusion I've come to is I've stopped thinking of anything as a destination. Yeah, it's just like, there is never one. Yeah, there's no destination. It's just like, you know. So that's one thing. And then the other is, I am an Enneagram sevens and if you if you're like, Enneagram fan, but it's like, what, you know, this is like

a shocker. And I really resonated with this when I listened to your episode on human design is like, I've never gotten into the tests. I the

reason I love talking about the Enneagram seven thing is because it what I do see reflected in that for me is I, I have a really hard time with anything negative emotion was like so I have always been like, the positive Patsy like, well, you know, it's okay. But what I've learned in the last couple years is like, I would say, the first time I was really able to be like, No, that sucked. Feel like when Matt was gone for him days birth, and people would try to say, well, at least you got to FaceTime with him. And I'm like, Oh my God. Is that what I sound like when I talk to you? Uh huh. Yeah, at least I got to FaceTime. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what? Right? Integrated positivity? Honestly, it doesn't say very much. It doesn't say a lot. And I'm still working on that. You know, like, for instance, a dear friend of mine. She's at her grandmother's funeral today. And she knows how blessed she is at 40 Something to be at her grandmother's funeral. I don't need to say that to her. What I said to her this morning is I'm holding space for you all day, or the first thing I thought of this morning, I love you so much. And that was it. I didn't need to blow smoke up harass about any of it.

Yeah, and I think that's, that's what's been, for me, my first response was always as the seven the enthusiast was like to try to cheer someone up. When now my first response is like, hey, that's really hard. And then, you know, talking through it, and then we can usually get to the positive side. But it's like, usually my first was like, oh, yeah, but it could be this, you know. And so I think one thing I've stopped doing is the whole what do they call it comparing? Like, you're like, I used to be like, oh, you know, beauty counter, like, do you use beauty counter makeup ever? I haven't. Lately, actually, I still use their eyeshadow. But I saw this video where they were like talking about how they mined for mica and how like these poor women were having to like, strap their two year olds to their backs and go in the mica mines. And I was like, goodness, I don't have a right to complain about any anything ever. And then that's what I worked through with with my coach was like, there's no like, you can't What did you call it comparative suffering comparative

stuff, right? Yes, yes. Yes. That's well said. So. So I'm not advocating for never expressing that stuff. Because suppression also can create perpetuation. Yeah. Right. And so I'm all for the, you know, I'm good for a little micro explosion, you know. And I'm not saying that there's so much room for growth around my little micro explosions. But typically, if I've micro exploded, if I've allowed my stuff to be voiced, then my RAs can go back to like, not having to work so hard to filter out. Does that make sense? Like, if I, yeah,

it does. And the other like, thing that's been helping me a lot is like the word and like the, the both and, like, wow, that was a really hard situation. And I'm also really lucky that I have a husband who is an amazing father. And you know, I did get to be on FaceTime. You know what I mean? It was like eautiful really hurt and it was really hard. PS

I watched your stories for was it for her birthday that you want to send all that off? I was so moved. I

got 70 DMS and I was like, yes. But yeah, so that is one thing I'm working on is kind of like being able to that's one thing I do love about Brene Brown is she always talks about like the paradox of life. Like everyone thinks that life can fit so nicely into this like this or that I'm happy or I'm sad when it's like happy and sad all at the same time. All at the same

time. Yeah. And you know, yeah, I have just where I am in my journey is like we all have some major right, hero's journey we have to overcome and there's no sparing us from that, but, and kind of how our razzes programmed dictates how we move through our personal hero's journey, and then how long it takes to resolve it if you will. Right. And so, when we think about and I've been thinking about this a lot lately, I'm gonna go to the crazy place okay, but like about Gaza, and Israel and Hamas and like, when you think of law law of attraction and Reticular Activating like think about, for instance, the Jewish people or people of color. I'm not qualified to speak on these things from a socio political standpoint, I'm just speaking on it from like a humanity, compassion, literally reticular activating system perspective. But if we're oriented to anticipate terrorism, and we're looking for, right, and that's what we're programmed for. And, and so I think that, except really being able to accept that we're all going to experience some form of struggle. And how we've programmed our RAS dictates how long we suffer, or how quickly we move through it. And I think that has a lot to do also, with our trust in an organized universe, or God, and our ability to feel a sense of security around those things. And that doesn't mean we're never going to struggle or life is going to fit into boxes, because it's just not, it's going to be hard a lot of times, but if we've programmed our Raz, that connectivity is what matters. Authenticity is what matters, you know, finding love finding support, that it's all out there for me. That's what we're gonna attract to us. And then it's all there. That is resilience. Yes. Elsa

came to mind for me. So my mom has always said, I just don't understand how you have so many girlfriends. Girls are bitches, and I've never had grit. And I'm like, and as I've done so much work on myself in the last three years, I find myself and I know she doesn't listen to a podcast, which is another thing that upsets me.

I was like, Oh, God, I'm not I hope they're not listening.

Mama's you are yay, no. Um, no, my mom's amazing. But I find it so funny. Now that I've done so much work on myself. She triggers me so bad. And I've like been having to be like, okay, like, she says, you know, because she she is like the toxic positive, like, well, at least your fingers not cut off. And I'm like, Oh,

okay. Okay. Or I'm trying to think of, what were we talking about? Oh, like the girl, the girlfriends

thing. I'm like, Well, maybe that's just what you're looking for now. Like, I've always had amazing friends and a huge group of friends. And yeah, just found that. That's

just makes life better. Yeah, it comes easy to you.

Yeah. And you know, people will be like, well, you're so outgoing. And you're the car I'm like, but it's not that really is just that, like, that's what I look for. Right? That's what I expect. Yeah.

Expect, right? So let's talk about this word intend. Okay. That's what I intend. Okay? Because so often, whether we're talking about law of attraction, or manifestation, or we get into the neuroscience of it, which is the RAS, we can, and affirmations. Right? A lot of reasons. A lot of times affirmations don't work for people is because they pick an affirmation too many standard deviations from their norm.

Right, the thought ladder, you heard of the thought, let's give or take. Yeah, right.

And so if we use the word intend, that's a gentle nudge to the RAS to help it focus without having a bunch of resistance flooding in, right. So I intend to have girlfriends and then my mind, then the rise starts looking for ways to make that happen. I intend to have him to have make an impact with my podcast this year, and then the rest starts to look for ways to execute that strategy. Now, the only other thing that would derail it is if there's an internalized negative belief that needs to be transmuted to help promote that. So the word Yeah, the word intent is a really solid word to help coach your RAs, so internalize negative beliefs. This has been like my thing lately is so, so many of our negative experiences in life, we have come to associate with a self oriented negative belief like I am not good enough, I am not in control, I cannot get what I want. I am not safe, I cannot trust people, right. And so and then the Raz finds the data to the Anik data to like, reinforce that negative belief because that's what we primed it to do, right. And so, so much of what we do in EMDR, some of so much of what using homeopathy or other energy medicines does, it helps shift those negative beliefs into positive beliefs using whatever modality the thing uses. Right. And one of the things that's been in my craw lately is how much we're calling things trauma, that aren't trauma, they're just internalized negative beliefs that are interesting to be transmuted because trauma has very clear hallmarks, right of how it affects what you're

saying, right. Like I know No, I'm not okay. You're like No, Don I have no idea Shawna in purpose Don you're not

you know a lot you know a lot more than the average Jane right? So just

because this topic I'd love over the last like I said, I'm Yeah, but continue.

So trauma affects the brain in some very specific ways that involves them flashbacks and all kinds of neurobiological responses right in the body mind, but so So much of what we look at as bad habits and patterns in our lives. dysfunctions in our lives are because we have come to believe something negative about ourselves. And then the razz goes about just filtering through the world reinforcing that belief. And so sometimes we have to get to the root of where that negative belief was born. And this is where I love EMDR or homeopathy to do or EFT tapping to shake that loose, right to transmute it and to really accept or Yeah, except right, a positive belief about oneself.

Is that how you kind of know like, like you said, shake it loose, like, oh, that's where that came from.

Okay. Yeah, yes. It's not just about awareness, though. It's really like a block, an energy block that's blocking it from resolving. So if you think about chronicity, versus acuteness, right? So like, if I, if I have a bad day, because something happens to me at work, or on the road, or whatever, and that bad day is like, oh, that sucked. And I have to, like, take a bath and like, talk to a friend and recover from it. But if I, let's say that bad day was because I had a car accident, right? And that, but then I know that within a few weeks, it's no big deal. I'm not feeling anxious on the road anymore. It's resolved in a number of days or weeks as a result of me practicing good self care. But if we're three to six to nine months out, and I'm still feeling anxious getting behind the wheel of a car, now I want to I want to look at is that trauma? Or is that just I internalized a negative belief about what it is to drive on the road with other people? And my Raz is just doing what I've asked it to do. Yes. And that distinction, I think, is what needs to be next in the conversation about trauma. It's we're doing a beautiful job of having the trauma conversation, because it wasn't happening in this proportion, five years ago. So cool that we're talking about it now. But now it's like we've kind of called everything trauma. And when we're calling everything, like nothing's, you know what I mean? Like, and so there's a nuance there between, Oh, have I programmed my RAs? Or has it become programmed from some negative experiences that have become negative beliefs? Or is it really trauma that has impacted the brain and I'm having flashbacks and I'm. And so when there's a stuckness, about a chronic symptom, there's literally we can't see it with our eyes necessarily, but we could see it with our symptoms. There's a blocked energy just like like an aneurysm is a blood clot, there's an energy clot. And when we when we do EFT tapping, which we know is on points that are associated with meridians, right energy meridians are when we do EMDR, which uses bilateral stimulation, we use a homeopathic remedy, which still the uses an energetic simulation, that energy block moves through the body and then things start flowing differently. So it's more than awareness. It's really shaking loose, a block an energetic block, what

would you say is the difference then between like the trauma and the like the what did you call it? An

internalized negative belief?

Yes.

Yeah. It's, so I'm, again, not a neuroscientist. But it they're

wrapped. But there are parts of the brain

that gets so profoundly affected by trauma that it temporarily changes their structure, right, the amygdala becomes swollen, there are a handful of other places that become affected structurally.

They can see it on a scan like it can so like, literally, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.

And so, but we can have all sorts of dysfunctions simply from having negative beliefs. And so this is where you call like, we maybe have heard things called Big T trauma or a little T trauma. Yeah, right. I would much prefer we have a more nuanced conversation moving forward about Big T trauma is trauma and little T traumas, probably like internalized negative beliefs, the RAS been programmed a particular way. And we could like, pretty shift that pretty easily. Okay,

yeah. No, that makes sense. And I wouldn't say you could even give it an example, because everyone's perception of that situation, when one might perceive it as traumatic and one might perceive it as like, Oh, yeah. And trauma

is really, you know, a profound inability to process okay, like a profound and ability for the body mind to fully process what it's experiencing. And so it intentionally shuts certain things down so the system doesn't self destruct.

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Because, yeah, that's how, like, you seemingly just keep going. And we only think, yeah, how on earth would you keep going if that happened? Okay, so let's talk about the hold. You sit. So you are talking therapist for how many years?

So? Yeah, talk there. Yeah, but since I was born, right, I was the parental therapist. Yeah, I opened my private practice in 2011. And I had worked at an agency worked, I worked at some of the one especially of the best rehabs in the country boy was that just such an amazing training from some of the best of the best of the best. But I opened my practice in 2011, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, there's not as many of us there's, you know, there's just not as common of a credential. But I've always been a systems thinker, I've always loved understanding how pieces work together, whether it's in a family or in a body, or you name it, yeah, I was doing, you know, individual and couples therapy. And I was like, This is so limited, like, it does not work as well as I had envisioned, especially with couples therapy, because they would come to session, and we talk about things, and maybe we'd have a breakthrough, but then they go home, and they're practicing the same bad habits. And if there's high conflict, and if there's underlying traumas that are blocking this stuff, or underlying internalize negative beliefs, how do we fundamentally get those to shift in between sessions so we can come in and be productive. And then I got trained in EMDR, which is a trauma treatment approach. And it's experiential. And it does the subconscious stuff. And I started using it in couples therapy in session with couples, which was not being done, I just kind of made it up on the fly. I'm sure it's done now here or there with other people making it up on the fly, but, and I saw such profound differences in how couples would get better. And, you know, and then I've just continued to add modalities from there. But such a game changer, like true wellness happens with these different techniques. And

then how did homeopathy make its way? I think, I am sure there's another therapist that uses homeopathy. I have not met one. No. And you know, what's so funny? So, for those listening, Don was like, Well, shit. Everyone's getting better. So no one's having to keep booking appointments with me. They're getting better. Yeah, well, it's like a good thing. Good. good problem to have. Right? Yeah. So it's like, okay, well, so tell me about, like I said, how this, how you use it in your practice, and how it kind of entered the scene. So we entered the chat

into the chat. So I've had I've experienced chronic illness most of my life and like, not like the severe kind, and your listeners know this all too well. But cluster headaches for 15 years. I don't know how they didn't kill me. And then a year and a half ago, rheumatoid arthritis and everything in between, right, like, Raynaud's and circulatory like, you name it, the things afflicted, right. And I think that healers who are meant to find a particular modality, right, that that's what calls to them, like a, like, for instance, your human design episode where she got better when she found human design like that. That was what she was called to. Right. Yeah. And so

love that. That's what I tell people all the time. There's no one thing. It's like, oh,

and so EMDR was profoundly helpful in functional medicine and all the things you know the story, you've walked it, but when I was scrolling Instagram last winter, I somehow in my feed suggested for you there was a little carousel of homeopathic remedies for the holidays. And it's like one Instagram posts, and it clicked for me. And before

Christmas while listening to this, did you hear this? How important are your Instagram posts? 100

was not.

I did not tell Don to say this? No, she

didn't. And so then before Christmas, you're if you're listening, you can't see it, right? But I bought this Materia Medica. It's the thickest book with the tiniest print. It's my favorite thing to read, which just is insane. But I also liked reading the dictionary when I was a kid. And I just started ordering remedies like a madwoman. And by January, I understood that I needed to hire a homeopath to self direct, but I sit with you today headache, free, arthritis free, and mentally and emotionally, like 90% different. And I was like this is the missing link. This is what therapy was always meant to include. And it's interesting. I've noticed a trend on Instagram of homeopaths becoming coaches now because homeopathy without that the mindset work doesn't work as well.

Well, it can be used, you know, you see people using an acutely and then you see people using it as an institutional sickly trained homeopath, which is the more constitutional remedies. Yeah, it's like if I get a bruise and use Arnica like I don't need a whole lot of training or coaching or therapy. Oh,

and there's so many books out there. Yeah. To be so. So but I'm, I'm practicing constitutional homeopathy with my clients. And so it's really It's remarkable and I just love it. I'm obsessed. So you're not allowed to say that cures are available like the government owns diseases and owns it's cured but like there's so much more wellness available than most people are exposed to what What

I love about homeopathy is, it's so cheap, right? And it's not something that you can like,

No, I'm not cheap. But yes.

No, I mean, like, the actual remedies are cheap. Yeah, the remedies are so cheap, and you pick the wrong one. It's like, well just move on to the next. Like, it's not like it's

right. Because if it didn't work, it wasn't the right remedy. It's not that it's not that homeopathy doesn't work. It's that if it didn't work, either you're trying to treat a chronic issue with an acute approach, or you didn't pick the right remedy. Yeah,

yeah. So I do I will say I get overwhelmed just because my mom yesterday goes, What's one of those naturopathic remedies? I was like, do you mean homeopathic? She was like, yeah. So she's like, what's one of the remedies for I'm lowering my a onesie. And I was like, it doesn't really work that way that I know of, but

like, No, she wouldn't eat constitutional care. And it would lower her it wouldn't see. Yeah,

yeah. I was like, I know, you can take Berberine that's not homeopathic, though. She's like, well, what is that I'm like, well, that's a supplement. Like they're kind of different, which is different. I don't really know how to explain it. So

homeopathy comes from the perspective that a the body can heal itself, if it is, you know, in alignment. And if it's not in alignment, then the thing that will help bring it into alignment is something that vibrates at the same frequency of the misalignment that like calls to like that the curse is the cure. Homeopathy literally means similar suffering, similar suffering. So we take the whole picture of your symptoms, and we find something in nature that vibrates at that same frequency of suffering. And really, it acknowledges that anything can be the curse or the cure like water. If you drink too much water, it will kill you. If you don't drink enough water, it will kill you want to drink the sweetspot of the amount about

Bella Donna for a fever, for example. It's like if you were to exactly ingest Bella Donna raw in the wild, you would be like hot, feverish, like Exactly. Yes. Yeah. I love it. Okay, yeah.

Oh, and I wanted to say this one thing about so you know how I asked you to vote on my new podcast art last week. Okay. So I've been having the hardest time Mali picking between there was one with a woman and window and sunrise, it was so empowering. And it felt so good to look at it. And then there's another one that, you know, it was more text base with some little graphics that simpler that feels less emotional to me. But as it relates to the Raz, and I've been sitting with this decision over the last couple of weeks, what I am realizing is that the woman in the window will only appeal to people whose razzes are filtering in empowering things. And oftentimes, because I have a divorce recovery podcast, when we are in the middle of divorce, are razzes not programmed to see the beauty in life, it is programmed to see the problem, not the solution. And this is why in marketing, it is so important for us to use our clients language, because that's how we connect with our razzes program. So I think I'm going to choose the more text based graphic, even though I don't love it. But that's because it's more likely to appeal to my ideal listeners. Current Raz state. Mic

drop moment. Yeah. So that actually is how I wanted to spend these last five minutes that we have is, well, we'll do like in theory, rather than you I need people to see how they can work with you. But let's just give some practical tips. So I'll start if you will, kind of like one of rapid fire some things, kind of see where I'm going with this. Okay, so I have a lot of clients whose biggest holdup they're these brilliant. People write her literally adjusting people's cervical spine and helping people reverse their Hashimotos. I'm not to make a real I can't do it. It's hard. I'm just, you know, I'm just not good at technology. Technology hates me. I am not tech savvy. And I'm like, ooh, but what if you are? What would you tell somebody in that situation? How can they? How can they use the power of their res to?

Well, two things I'd actually say Have they looked at their human design chart to see whether or not they belong making reels. But yeah, I was I it because it really depends, right. But I I intend to have, I intend to get good at social media one way or the other. Right? Like whether that means hiring an agency or learning how to do it like I intend to make a difference via social media. That's how I would program my RAs is I intend to make a difference and impact on social media. And then my rouse will start looking for opportunities to do that. And it's not going to come all at once. But all of a sudden, they'll be adjusting somebody one day because this happened to me yesterday, right? I was sitting with a session in a session with a client who was in the middle of a divorce and she said something and I was like, that's a social media post. And I fired something off to my assistant, right? And so it's like when you intend to do it, and you set that intention and you work on reinforcing that intention. It's going to unfold one way or the other.

That's so funny because I have told clients that before I'm like, train your brain I'm like open that channel right now, to Azure going about your day. If you walk out of a room and you go, Oh, man, that's a really good story. People probably need to know that. Like, if you don't think to train your brain to look for, for those, you know those stories like you're, you're gonna finish your day and be like, anything interesting happened today that I could post about? No, I don't think so. Huh?

Oh, yeah, it is. It's catching it in the moment. Yeah.

And that's like you said, like, the beauty of, of the rats, like, you can actually literally change camera one, camera two, Camera two.

And I think the tricky part was social medias. Okay, so I asked my admin to make the thing. Now, you know, we put it out in a grid post not a real because we didn't have time to make the real. So if it doesn't perform great, is that because it was a bad idea? Or is it because we didn't optimize it? Probably the second not the first, right? So it's just about allowing yourself to be on the journey. And to get better over time. Or it could

have been all social media is a game of Roulette. This is what I was gonna tell you about the hit record, you just have to keep it it's like we've had clients who the client who sent us cardio safe for I saw that sorry. We kept posting nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. And we were everything was optimized, right? Because we were looking for and then it was just like, all of a sudden, boom, something stuck, went wild. And ever since then, her stuffs been doing great. And we've had some dips that we've kind of had to recharge, but it's like, you just never know not saying going good to hear goal. But it's yeah, it can seem really frustrating until it's not. And then, and then it becomes like a snowball, but okay, so Don, how do people find you? And I should have asked you this before? Can we work with you? I mean, I know I'm working with you. Are you doing this for me? Just because? Because,

yeah. So I have a private practice, right Don Wiggins therapy, where I see virtually right I work with individuals, I work with couples and I do like therapy is my favorite thing to do. And now you know, when you come into my practice, you just know that that's going to involve homeopathy and EMDR and all the things. But my baby right now is my podcast, your divorce diary, you know, where I bring all this stuff to women who are really working through a very painful time in life. And that's because I'm a divorcee and you know, have my happily ever after and my parents were divorced. So it's just really a full circle moment for me. And there's so much in this world of subconscious work. I think that divorce is such a beautiful place to reprogram your RAs and change your life like a total rebirth. And so dear divorce diary, rebranding, launching Jan to

give us a listen. That will already be out by the time this comes out. But you don't just work like in your private in John Wick and Don were in therapy. You don't

know I do it all. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I have my clients are men and have a Yeah, I I'm always attracting the perfect clients. If this resonates with you reach out.

I can attest. Don's amazing. Okay, thank you so much for this. And you know, I'm like gonna go geek out on all things. Whereas it was it's like

so cool to just sit with you like my best generator, June birthday friend. And it's work and it didn't really

card to Charleston, you're coming to my retreat.

I am so excited about that. Okay, I don't know

if anyone listened. At the time this is being recorded. I literally have one bed left. And I had someone say, Oh, I'm in a sleeping bag. There are other things we could do. So like if you're listening and you feel like call that like this retreat is for you. It's my content creation retreat. Like please reach out. Yeah, I also like the right person is going to fill the last bed. I'm not

worried about it, ya know?

So awesome. I love you, Don, thank you so much. Thank you for listening to holistic marketing simplified. This podcast is brought to you by my marketing roadmap, which is a five episode private audio training that's kind of like this podcast, but not exactly because it's not available to the general public when you search on your podcast feed. So the great thing about consuming free content like this for me or on my Instagram or my blogs, or whatever, is that yes, you will learn a lot but you kind of have to go searching for what it is exactly you're looking for. This five episode private podcast is broken down in a logical step by step order. That's why it's called a roadmap. So you're ready to get started on your Instagram marketing journey. Or if you already are started and you're just feel like you're kind of like overwhelmed with all of the different free information. This is a super clear roadmap with lots of tangible step by step action items that will get you from point A to point B for just $27. So all you have to do is head to Mollie cahill.com/private training. And based on the reviews I've had so far, I know you won't be disappointed. I'm really proud of this training. And I know personally I've bought 2737 $17 products before and felt like I really didn't get that much out of it. I guarantee you you will learn something from this five episode, private audio feed. So again, it's just Molly cahill.com/private training And it'll also be linked below in the show notes. I cannot wait to hear what you think. And hey, you know how every podcaster at the very end of their episode asks you to rate and review their podcast? Well, that's because it's super important. These podcasts take a lot of time and heart and effort to produce to bring you free information. So in order for me to be able to continue doing that, we need more people to find out about the show. So if you could please just take like two minutes out of your very busy day to leave me a rating and share this on your Instagram stories and tag at Molly a Cahill. That's c h i ll, I would greatly greatly appreciate your support. I truly appreciate you so much. I know your time is valuable and I can't wait to see you in the next episode.

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