Episode 75: How this Therapist Posts Consistently on Instagram (While Regulating the Nervous System!) with Michelle Shlafman

Molly: Hi, and welcome back to the show. Um, this is going to be breaking up the summer shorts series a little bit, because this is an interview that Michelle and I have tried to do a couple of times, but she's actually like, actually at the time this airs, she should be, oh my gosh, I'm going to butcher. What is it?

Defending her dissertation. If that is wrong, please don't be mad at me. The thing where you get your PhD. Which is just so cool to me. She is my guest today. Michelle is a holistic psychotherapist and I, you know what? It's so funny. Cause I'm like, on one hand, I'm like, are my, did my listeners have whiplash?

Like I, this is not a rhetorical question. We like actually come DM me. I get a lot of DMS about how much people love the podcast, but then I also am like, am I all over the place, but I just, I see these people doing amazing things. And I don't want just to be interviewing like these quote big name, I don't know, like I like bringing you regular old people who are just doing what, you know, what we're all trying to do.

Um, not that I would say Michelle, she's far from regular. I don't know too many people who are about to get their PhD and also she does Reiki and her therapy. Anyway, she's just the coolest human. But anyway, somehow she came to follow me. Ages ago and we just connected in DMs and we've kind of been chatting back and forth ever since and then I noticed that she was just really crushing it with her reels game like they were so good and She was so consistent with her reels.

So I finally DM'd her and I was like, hey, like, what are you doing? Like, how are you doing this? Um, because a lot of my students struggle with consistency. They think reels have to be this hard, you know, long complex thing and like you're obviously showing that they don't. And her like follower growth really exploded, um, which obviously is not always the most important thing.

But, um, anyway, so I wanted to have her on the show because of that. Michelle, I'm just going to do like her, like more little like formal bio, even though I hate doing these, but I do think hers, it's important to kind of get the context with her. Michelle has over a decade of experience in holistic psychotherapy, which is another thing I like about her because the whole, like I said, the whole holistic approach, like she really does look at like the whole person.

And she specializes in And supporting individuals who experience high anxiety and complex grief. Her practice is rooted in a comprehensive approach that harmonizes the nervous system with the mind, body, and soul. Michelle's expertise extends to the overachieving mind, addressing loss, chronic pain, and illness through a lens that integrates psychotherapeutic techniques with somatic psychology and self compassion.

So. Actually, now that I'm reading that, I remember how we, she used to be more like pain focus, like a, like a therapist from a pain standpoint. So anyway, she's actually in Atlanta and I've introduced her to a couple of you I know in the Atlanta area area, um, just because she's so dang cool. So this episode is already really long.

So sorry. Um, I'll be getting back to the summer shorts after that. I got a couple other cool interviews to bring you, but I hope you enjoy the heck out of this episode. Bye bye. Even though it's a little all over the place,

Hey, welcome to holistic marketing simplified. This podcast boils down to the fact that we wholeheartedly believe that more humans need to know about holistic health solutions. And you didn't go to school to learn how to be a full time content creator and show up on Instagram and do all of this marketing stuff all day, every day.

So while marketing, yes, is a super important part of your business, I want to bring you really bite sized tangible tips so that you can get your message in front of more people who need to know about the beautiful and wonderful work that you do. So I joke that my new tagline should be, come for the marketing advice, but stay for the life coaching.

And that's because you'll hear a lot of mindset and behind the scenes, subconscious tips and tricks and things that I've done to look at your marketing from a really holistic perspective. So let's come hang it out while we chat. All things ease in your marketing and my goal is that you shift your mindset around your marketing from a quote should to a, I get to for dream patients and clients.

Yes, please.

Kristin: Hi. Yeah. I'm Kristen Spetz, and I am a life coach and a sound bath facilitator, meditation and breath work teacher. And I live in Evanston, Illinois, outside of Chicago. And I listen to Molly Cahill's Holistic Marketing Simplified Podcast. It's so great.

Molly: Michelle, I am. So pumped to have you on the show.

I know we've had like life reschedule. I rescheduled and then you rescheduled and we did the Hokey Pokey and now we're here and I've, I'm just so, I've been like selfishly, that's the beauty of having a podcast is you just get to like, Hey, come on podcast and you get how you get to have conversations with people that you want to talk to, but like call it work.

Yeah, social conversations with our passions. Yeah. So I'm so happy you're here. Tell us a little bit about you. I've already done like your formal intro, but I mean, not really formal, but you know what I mean?

Michelle: Yeah. I, you know, I love what I do. I'm a holistic psychotherapist. I've been doing the work for over a decade and I think it's a really fantastic way of healing and integrating any challenges that you have in your life.

So I, that's, that's my main gig. Love spending time with the hubby and my two animals, which are a pug and a Boston Terrier named Kiwi and Peaches. They're fantastic little teeny babies. And, uh, Love doing art, playing piano on the side, life is full of fun, creative things.

Molly: I, you've inspired me too because I, um, actually art and piano are two of my, if I had to have a hobby, not had to have, if I, not had, I want to have hobbies and I want those to be, I took piano when I was really young and I'd love to get back into it.

And then. I was actually like searching for art classes locally because I just need to get back and like have, because I love to be creative, which I get to be creative with my job a lot, but like more hands on stuff. So it's really cool to hear that. I have to pick your brain on that. So tell me, I know when you first, I don't even remember how we found each other.

I don't remember either. Probably because if I were to guess. your, um, psychotherapy practice. You used to be like very, are you still super pain management focused?

Michelle: Yes. And no, yes, I do that, but it's primarily grief and grief and anxiety now. And chronic pain usually falls under grief.

Molly: Yeah. Right. I'm like, all right, let's turn this into a Molly's therapy session.

I was like, I was like today, I was like, my back's hurting my neck. That's always my sign of like, something's going on. Yeah. Yeah. But I just had this vacation. So I don't know what's going on. I just gotta, I gotta figure some things out. We're getting there. I think it's like you always hit that next level of like, okay, and now it's like you're feeling good.

You're feeling good. And then you're like, and then you hit that next level and you're like, okay, now we gotta refigure some other things out. Calibrating life.

Michelle: Oh, what? Tell me, what does that mean? That we can't always be happy all the time and our bodies can't always feel good all the time. And when you speak to us, it's because they're delivering some form of a message, whether it's, you know, you get sick because you're overdoing or you just get sick because you're around random people.

I mean, that's an, you know, physical ailment too, but that our bodies usually, we listen to our bodies because when they hurt, we hurt and we have to pay attention. So I always view it as. Like recalibration, what, how do you need to balance or reorient yourself?

Molly: Yeah, um, I love that. I'm sure I remember that.

And then tell me a little bit. So I love, I wonder if the word holistic might be another reason the algorithm like sent us each other somehow. But what do you mean by holistic psychotherapist and coach? Like, what's your Michelle's definition of that? Because I love that.

Michelle: Michelle's definition is Holistic is really a blend of every facet of life that we experience.

So the spiritual dimension, the emotional dimension, and the physical dimension. So the body, the mind, and the spirit or the soul. And I just view it as more comprehensive. I mean, one can work with solely the mind, but if they're only working with the mind, then they're limited in their ability to fully heal or integrate whatever it is that, that they're trying to better understand or gain clarity on.

So it's just, it's a more comprehensive healing process. You work with, you know, nutrition, you work with physical touch with, I'm not saying I work with physical touch, but it's part of that holistic umbrella. Chiropractors best holistic support ever. And yeah, it's just a blend of everything. Versus just the psychological.

So do you refer

Molly: out for like nutrition stuff or you'd help with that? Yeah. I have a

Michelle: whole network of people that, you know, if a client comes into me and they're like, you know, I'm, I discovered they're having this challenge or this challenge. They're not getting enough sleep. They're not, um, adequate with their nutrition intake.

They're not getting, you know, chirocare or massage therapy or some type of healing touch. And yeah, definitely refer out.

Molly: That is so cool. Yeah. That's like, you're kind of like the hub. You're like work. I'll work with your brain, but I'll help you get all of these like other things that really make the full picture of what it means to you.

And I think that's so, that's why my business is called what it is, is because people want, I'm now like seriously considering adding it as like a tagline for me where I'm always like come for the marketing, but stay for the life coaching. Not that I'm any type of. You know, certified life coach or anything, but I've not as long as you, but I've also been, you know, in some type of therapy or life coaching or whatever for so long.

And I see how much I've integrated it into my daily life. And I see, this is one of the, like, first things I wanted to talk to you about is One of the biggest issues I see with so many of these brilliant practitioners, I mean, okay, I'll use this one woman as an example because I just had a, um, a 90 minute, I do these every once in a while, I'll do these like 90 minute intensives with people.

I'm very picky about who, you know what I mean? It has to be like the right energy and the right fit and, you know, Um, it's not just open all the time because they're very draining on me. They're like, they're, what do you call it? When it's like equally draining, not in a bad way. Like I put all of my energy into it and then I'm very tired, but I still love doing it.

I don't know if that makes sense. No, it does make sense. Because you know, people will say, well, what drains you? And don't do that. I'm like, well, it does drain me, but not. And like standing in line to do an Amazon return type thing. . Mm-Hmm. . It's like a good kind of tired, you know, I'm like effort will drain.

You're very present. Yes. I just gave you everything I had for 90 minutes and now I need to go take a nap. . Yes. So anyway, so I was on one of those calls with her and I'm not kidding. Just in that, and she's a fertility specialist and we were one and done by choice. So I'm like, not looking for fertility help, but I was like, I just want to work with you in some capacity for me, for my own health, because you just have this beautiful energy and you could just tell she was like emanating this wisdom of like, I just can't imagine what it would be like to be under her care.

Right? Like she could just tell. And it's like, so I see these brilliant people like this who have all these gifts and yet when it comes to trying to put themselves out there, to tell more people about what it is that they do. They freeze. And I've seen it look a lot like, oh, I'm just not quite sure how to talk about it.

What do I do? Do I post it this way? Do I post it that way? Do I do this? Do I do this? Do I do this? I did one take. It wasn't quite right. Let me try again. Um, so it looks a lot like, what do they call it? Like procrastination or perfectionism, procrastination, basically. It looks a lot like, I don't want to show my face on camera.

What are people going to think of me? There's just so many different facets. And so that was one of the twofold reasons I wanted to have you on. One is to talk about that and two, just your simple, like your Instagram has just been like banging. So I wanted you to talk some more nuts and bolts, um, at the end of kind of like your process of how you've been doing everything.

So there was a question in there. We'll start with. Okay. Like if you had someone here and they're just like, Oh, I'm just like, so scared, you know, like I said, they, they've got all these beautiful talents and they're just, that's been the thing holding them back. They think it's going back to what I said about how it's like come for the marketing, stay for the life coaching.

So many people think it's like, Oh, if I just had one more tactic or if I just knew the tech or whatever, then I would be fine. And often I find it's deeper than that.

Michelle: So much deeper than that.

Molly: Yes. So if you were to talk through that with someone? And obviously I know there's different problems, but just kind of how, what would that process look like for you?

Michelle: Yeah, I think in general. A lot of a lot of people have this complex where they are so great at what they do, but there's a deep hesitancy with putting it out in the world. And the first question that honestly, I would ask. someone inside of that challenge is what are you afraid of other people seeing?

You know, like sometimes we, I think we have a certain understanding of what our abilities are and what we're used to, what our habits are like, where we work with clients, we feel comfortable and cozy, where we send ourselves out into the abyss of social media, where God knows how many people are going to see us.

You know, there are many trolls and there are different opinions and there are. Are things that we could run up against where otherwise if we're in our office with our clients, we never would. And some people question their ideas. Some people question their opinions. Some people question their ways of practicing.

Some people question, is it egotistical of me to put myself out there and to talk about myself?

Molly: So

Michelle: I think all of these separate components really impact someone's ability. To be able to be seen. So there are so many different questions that I would, I would ask. And then also the other question is, like you said, procrastination, there's professionalism, there's, you know, there's even the ADHD brain in a practitioner, you know, and also not, hi, yes, me too.

And not enough, um, maybe not enough knowledge, which is why you come in handy for so many people, because we need, sometimes people just need a guide because they don't have enough resources to do it. So. A whole bunch of different things that would affect that process.

Molly: Yeah. And when that, when I do get those people, those are the people who are, who are able to just like enroll in the hub and they take it and they take off and they have great results.

Right. Cause I, we don't have to sift through limiting beliefs, which I feel like limiting beliefs, mindset work, all of that is stuff that I don't know about y'all's algorithms, but it's like. Okay, if I hear the word limiting belief or mindset work one more time, it's like you want to roll your eyes. But at the same time, I mean, like truly, I don't know what else to call it.

That's really what it is. It's like, and so that's what I always tell people. I'm like, if you're You know, if your issue is, maybe you don't truly believe what it is that you're out there wanting to post about, then like, I can't help you. We need to go back a couple steps. Like, we need to go back and you need to do some deep mindset work.

Or, you know, if you're afraid you're not good enough, or again, like the procrastination, the perfectionism. Let's work on that first. And so I'm actually funny. We're having this conversation at this time. I'm actually trying to integrate some ways, some resources into the hub. It's like, okay, if you're getting stuck here, like call these, like have like a directory.

Maybe I can add you to my directory, call these people and they'll help you work. Like I don't have the credentials to walk you through. I'll be your cheerleader all day long.

Michelle: It's a deep exploration. I think that people, social media. For most is a very like step by step process. You know, you get a new, it's a whole other job.

You have to learn what you're doing. You have to learn how to work Instagram. You have to learn how to market yourself. You have to learn how, what is your niche? What are you, what do you want people to know about you? And if there are any faulty belief systems, or if there are any insecurities that you have to begin with, you will find them rise.

When you're on social media, I mean, I've had the same thing happen myself. I think we all, like, we all are part of the world of social media and the internet. And we all have, not all, but many of us have the taste of insecurity. Did I, you know, once I, Let that post fly its wings. Did it hit the right group of people?

Did someone think something about me? Did I say this in the right way? Is it going to land in the way that my intention was for it to? There's so many things that can happen with that.

Molly: Yeah. Well, because I think the struggle I still have is. nuance. It's like nuance cannot be always portrayed in like a very short clip or a short caption or whatever.

And it's, it's so hard to let that go. I still haven't been able to like fully, I'm like, I need to explain everything in this one, but I'm like, you can't do that. Like there's, of course there's nuance, you know? So one thing I've actually been telling my students, I'm like, literally add that line. Like, this is a much more nuanced conversation, but like, You know, even if you just want to add that little disclaimer, you totally can.

Procrastination. Let's hone in a little more on that one.

Michelle: Yes. Procrastination. Fear of failure, typically. Or Really? Yes. Procrastination. Big one. Fear of failure. Procrastination and perfection are like in the same family. Okay. Most of the time. In the neurodivergent brain, procrastination is a tendency that most all have.

And in the, the, you know, non neurodivergent brain, the neurotypical brain, procrastination is something most of us feel. If we, if we are concerned about the outcome of something, if we don't know how it's going to land, if We wait, because if we do it, then we take responsibility for however, however it arrived.

Right? So if we post the post, then we have to deal with that. But if we never post that post, we can worry or question or think or be in this position where we're like, I just don't know. I just don't know. And that sense of procrastination really stumps creativity. It stumps possibility. It stumps moving into landing where you're hoping to land.

And it's a problem for a lot of people on social media. And so is consistency.

Molly: I was about to say, what about when you just don't want to do it?

Michelle: You know, and is it your job? And if it was your job, it's like, okay, we need to look at that. And if it's not your job, it's like, why don't you want to do it? What is inside of that process that brings you to that space of hesitancy?

Molly: Yep. And you know, that's just from a, like a, a more practical standpoint, I guess you could say, like, what can you, maybe this is something you can outsource if you're like, but showing up here on your face, like, I, I still think that's something that I always joke with our clients. I'm like, look, I can only pretend to be you for so long.

Like you still have to have the clients of ours who actually have input. Um, Are filming the videos and doing their things like they're the ones who are getting better results than us recycling a brand photo that they had taken five years ago. Like we're doing the best we can, but you know, you still have to, even if you do outsource it, especially when you're working with like for me, like I'll work with all health and wellness professionals.

Right. And so it's, it's such an intimate job that you all have that Like, I remember when I, when we first moved to Cincinnati and I was looking for a new therapist because I'm someone, I like to see people in person. Like I don't really like to do virtual. And I remember going through, I should make a post about this because there were some people who didn't have a photo anywhere, like not on their website, not anywhere.

I'm like, I'm not going to book with you. Not because I'm looking for you to look a certain way, but because I'm not booking a therapy session with a logo. Like I, yeah. Yeah. And so anyway, I just think it's, I think you just, it's one of those things that I even got to present to a chiropractic college about a month ago.

And they were like, what about these faceless accounts? I'm like, I'm sorry. Like you chose to be in a health, your essence, your energy is really, are you going to wear a mask when you go like a, like a, like a Kabuki mask when you go adjust somebody like you can't be faceless.

Michelle: Yeah. No, I, I, well, and I think also in, in, in my profession of therapy, some people question the amount of self disclosure when they're, you know, online, because we have such a, you know, HIPAA compliant way of being, but it doesn't mean that we can't show our face and it doesn't mean that we can't say our thoughts.

You know, it just means we have to be mindful of client privacy.

Molly: Yeah. I was actually going to ask you about that. I'm glad you brought that up because I'd kind of forgotten, but it was a note I had to myself to ask you about, because I do get therapists often, you're like, Oh, I'm scared to put my name. I don't want my patients finding me.

It can be awkward. It can

Michelle: be a funny thing when you find that your clients wind up finding you. You know, following you on social media, but I have it in my disclosure on my informed consent that this is something that I do and I, you know, will never bring in information from a session that day to the world of social media because it's too fresh and I would never.

It's a feel that that was them. So usually the stories are changed a bit. So the client would never, you know, never be able to, she's talking

Molly: about me,

Michelle: which would be like the worst thing ever. I mean, some clients would love that actually, but some clients, so we just have to be really careful, you know, with how we do it.

And, and there are, you know, there are social media trainings, I'm sure somewhere, uh, about how to. Do that ethically.

Molly: Yes. And that I'm not the person for that. I'm not sure. I know Carly Hill does a lot of stuff with that, but I know there's some other people too who, um, Katie, I can't remember her last name, but she's amazing.

I'm talking about, I can't remember her last name, but I know you're talking about, she's also awesome. Um, I'll find her and I can send her your way if you're a therapist is trying to navigate this, but, and I'm sure it's different state by state. I would venture to guess. So pretty, pretty, uh, standard though across all states.

Okay. That's good to know. Coaches and therapists. The next thing about this is I kind of do want to talk about nervous system regulation because even though, as I said, I'm not, I do not have training in any of these things, but I think people inherently think something, what's wrong with me that I don't want to put myself out there.

What's wrong with me that I'm letting this stranger on the internet that doesn't even have a profile photo. That's probably a bots comment. Make me feel so bad about yours. I'm like, if you didn't have those reactions, like you kind of. I mean, that's what made our human species like continue on is to be accepted by our group.

So it's very much hardwired into us to be accepted by the group, or we probably didn't survive, you know, like thousands and thousands of years ago. So I always tell people, like, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just like, it's just training your brain to be like, Oh, I'm not in a hunter gatherer society and I'm not left to starve out in the cold.

Like I'm actually, this is just socially, it's not real. So I don't know. Like I said, you talk about a lot about nervous system regulation and I would just love to hear you just kind of riff on that. Like, how would you help someone? They do get that nasty comment. They do. Even if they haven't gotten a nasty comment, even they're just like scared to even put it out there.

Are there any techniques that you would have people do to kind of help regulate that nervous system to get them even tip? To fly.

Michelle: Yeah. You know, the, it's funny because not, not everyone is going to like us and not everyone is going to agree with us. So that's the first thing that we have to really take in when we put ourselves out there.

But I would, I would offer grounding for someone to really understand what is the message that they're putting out and what is the integrity and source inside of it. And to ground your energy while you're putting it out to say, I want the, I want this post to reach all the right people. And if it doesn't, then.

That is out of my control, and to feel your body, to take a deep breath, to move into that parasympathetic state, and it's okay if you're nervous.

Molly: Yeah.

Michelle: It's okay if you're uncomfortable. It's okay if you are afraid, you know, part of our nervous system is, is birthed from, we are supposed to feel that sympathetic state.

We are supposed to feel, you know, excited and fear sisters. It's just a step in one direction versus the other. So if we're fearful, we step into excitement, um, and it's not always like that, but it's sometimes it can be, especially in the, in the world of social media. So I think it's really about grounding into the parasympathetic state.

Creating an intention for the post and knowing that it's not going to land right with everybody and that that's okay. It's not your responsibility to provoke emotion in someone else. Unless, unless you're choosing to write a fiery post, then know that that might come with it. But ultimately regulating your nervous system, I think brings you just more steadiness.

Molly: What? So let's talk more actual, like tangible, tactical things when it comes to Chelsea field. You're listening to this. This is my coach. I worked with for years and I used to get so I still to this day, like I, we don't work one on one anymore, but I'd get so pissed off with her cause she'd be like, you're too in your head.

I'm like. Well, where am I supposed to be? I don't understand. Like, and I still, after, gosh, almost five years of doing the work, I'm like, that just does not compute with, I'm like, I don't understand what, I don't understand. Get into my body. Get out of your head. What, how does that even, how would you even do that?

Michelle: It's more simple, I think, than most people think, because if we're, if we're using our cognitive brain, I'm thinking, I'm talking, I'm in my head. But if I'm to, you know, take a deep breath and watch my breath move into my chest and move into my belly, then I'm accessing my body. And so a way that we can really start to gain that connection between our body and our head is to watch where our breath goes.

People talk about it all the time, but they don't do it. And they don't believe in it. It's really just the breath. If you breathe in through your nose and then out on the out breath, you can feel the warmth move through your lungs and start to move down into your body. And when they say, you know, when people are super cerebral and they think all the time, which I'm a big cerebral thinker, I'm always in my head, but I'm training myself.

And I've trained myself over the years to get into my body more. It's through breath. It's through like if, if you're thinking, use your, use your hands, tap, do a butterfly hug, you know, tap the sides of your arms, squeeze, squeeze your body so that you can feel the connection with your body. And it's not a bad thing to be in our head.

It's a better thing to be both in our head and in our body. So we have a stronger framework. To live from and also, you know, accessing your intuition internally. That's another way of living in your body and in your spirit, which is the other component of everything is accessing your spirit and your body.

Molly: So I want to talk about that, but I want to go back to the whole grounding thing as well. Whenever I think of like get grounded, I'm always like, do I need to go barefoot in the grass? I mean, that's like literally grounding, but Is that kind of like, what do you mean by saying like get grounded and

Michelle: yeah, and there are so many different variations of grounding shore standing in the feet, standing in the feet, standing in your feet, being in the grass, barefoot, amazing.

Cause you're connecting with soil. It's helping with polarization of the body, of the energetic field. If you're touching a tree. Amazing. Those are the best things you can do for yourself. But if you're sitting here, it's about watching your breath move down your body, out through your feet and into the center of the, into the center of the earth.

You know, the meditation where you have roots coming out, the extensions of your feet, that is grounding. Grounding is anything where we move from only the brain down into the body and into the earth. We're anchored. And so it's really the other, the other phase of it is the visualization piece. If you can't get outside, think about it.

And also it sounds kind of funny, but like I have my sweet little plant, if I want to ground. I'll literally put my fingers in the soil for a second and I'll close my eyes and I'll feel the root and I'll ground that way. I always keep my little plan here to do that.

Molly: No, I don't think that sounds weird at all.

I'm like looking at, uh, I'm sitting on my sunroom, which she knows, and I'm like, I'm looking at this tree out here. I'm like in a minute, I'm going to go. Touch my tree.

Michelle: It's the most like centering energy one can do is put their back to a tree or just touch the tree. And when you do it, most everyone feels its depth.

Molly: I didn't mean to take this episode this, but I just now I'm like called to talk about this, which I think is interesting. So you're getting ready. Hopefully at the time this airs, you'll have defended your dissertation and you're going to be Dr. Michelle, which is so cool. So like, congrats on that, by the way.

But how do you, you'll know the word I'm thinking of. It's like, so you're in this academia, right? And like, it's like, everything is like, the research and the hard facts and the things we can see and then like you're but you're also so spiritual but you talk about grounding yourself to the earth reconcile there we go i did it how like i so i'm more someone who leans towards the spiritual and so that's what i'm doing I, I love that about you too, I think.

So it's like, how do you kind of reconcile those two worlds? Has it been tough for you still being so entrenched in academia? Or do you find that finally it's starting to go more of that way for people to realize like, Oh, there really is something out there bigger than us, whether you're religious or not.

Cause I'm not particularly religious, but I'm very, Connected to. Yes. Whatever you want to call it. You name it.

Michelle: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. It is. It is so easy for me, but I can't say that it's that way for everybody else. I used to care deeply what other people thought of me. Mm hmm. I don't anymore. I exist authentically and naturally.

And you know, if, if I share some spiritual thoughts or, or esoteric understandings, it's like, You know, take it or leave it. It doesn't mean that my thinking or practicing spirituality works for you. It doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that your way of functioning isn't correct. There is no, there is no right or wrong.

It's, it's, it's a system of being. And so in the academic world, I went in saying I practice holistic psychotherapy. I want to do, I originally wanted to do my dissertation on Reiki on energetic. Yeah. However, there wasn't a lot of research and I knew it would be, I knew it would be a pain in the ass if I were to have gone that route.

So I didn't, I didn't have an article on it, but I didn't, um, do the full dissertation on it. So everyone knew, I just went in announcing that I'm not, I'm not CBT. I'm, I'm, I'm much, you know, more into the realm of spirituality and the universe and energy healing and, and everyone was really okay with it.

And I think it depends if I were to be. If I were to, you know, to be nervous and like, Oh, I don't know if they're going to like this, then they'd probably feel that for me. But I'm like, Hey, this is who I am and this is what I do. And will it work for your college? Will it work for your school system? And there were actually a lot of holistic practitioners in the academic world there too, which was really neat.

That's

Molly: amazing. Do you practice Reiki? Yes, I do. Oh my gosh. That's so cool. Do you ever do distance Reiki? All the time. Oh, that is so cool. I've never done it. Of all the things I've done, I'm actually shocked that I've never done it.

Michelle: Anybody can do it. You see, if you just need to know how to ethically practice and where to guide your energy, where to focus your attention and what, just to focus on your intuition.

Molly: Yeah. I think, and again, that's another thing. Like, I Um, I've been wanting to try it, but I want to do it. Look, like I said, I'm like more of a, yeah, yeah. That's just because I spend so much time on the computer for work that anything I can do, that's analog, analog, like, I mean, I know I wouldn't really definitely call that analog.

Well, you know what I mean? Anything I can do that's off of technology I'm going to do. So I get it. Um, that's so cool. Switching gears a little bit just to the more actual like, nuts and bolts of social media. I first messaged you because I was like, wow, you are doing such like your reels have been so great.

And definitely I'm, I've learned a lot from them watching them. And for those who have listened to my podcast or like consumed any of my free content, you know that recently I've been teaching a lot about not just recently, but it feels more recent because I've been doing this for so long. These really strong, I call them like they get me.

Oh my gosh, you get me moments. And it's these really specific things that you put on your posts or over your reels that just make people go like, Oh my gosh, Michelle, like you're in my head. How did you know that? And I was reading through, um, a couple of these. Let's see. POV, you're trying to meditate for the first time in weeks, the dog starts sparking.

Your phone begins to buzz with work emails. Like that's so like people can be like, Oh my gosh, this happens to me. That happens to me. This one right here. That's like anxious overachievers. I have a chill day today. Going to a gym class, have five meetings, crossing off a few things from my to do list to consults.

I'm going to put away my laundry, take the dog for a walk, go to UPS and then dinner with some girlfriends. It's like, if you can relate, read this and it's just so good. Like, Like, that's just, I think, something people can be like, it sounds so crazy to be like, well, aren't I going to be isolating these other people?

And it's like, no, people don't have to see themselves. We have enough creative liberty in our brain to be like, okay, we can take this one little nuance and like apply it to our own lives. And it's the type of content that just like really makes people feel like, oh my gosh, she really gets me. And so you've just been doing such a good job with that.

And I know that you're using like a con you have a content subscription that you use for therapists. Yes. Um, what else would you say was kind of like, where, I mean, where are you? I don't want to say we're like a catalyst. Like, were you struggling with it before? And then you just kind of one day it was like the switch turned on and then you got, and then maybe that's just when I started seeing your stuff again, or were you always pretty consistent with it?

Michelle: No, I wasn't always consistent with it. I in November, I started to be consistent with it and. Uh, I think the, the subscription has been extremely helpful or we're given a prompt every single Monday and you know, then we get to plug in our own experience. And so for me, I, I jot down things during the day, during the week that I know I would need support with.

And I know my clients need support with that. And it's the every, it's the small mundane things that we're like, You know, but really everyone's like, uh, that has an overanxious brain or that's been inside of a grieving episode. So I try to take the everyday experience and wiggle it into either humor or seriousness or playfulness or a tool that someone can take home with them and go, Oh my God, like this is something that.

I actually brought in from social media that worked and I moved it into my life and that's kind of my hope, but that's how I come up with the ideas is just from the original prompt that the subscription service gives me. Sometimes I do them on my own. Um, I get like four prompts a week and the rest I kind of.

You know, once you start doing it, it's a language, but you have to stay consistent. So for me, the first two weeks ever that I was on here every single day, I'm like, what deeply am I doing? Who am I? And afterwards you, you, it's, you show up for something every single day. You start to become that thing. You, it starts to become you, you start to build a relationship with it.

And I think it's, Like it's a very intentional process. It's a spiritual process too because it's not about what I want. It's about what my, what the viewers want. What are they looking for? What are they needing support with?

Molly: Uh, there's so many things that I'm like, it's like, I could have scripted your answer to go along with what I want.

I want you to say, and I swear I didn't for those of you listening. So, um, I do have, so as My most of my listeners know I have a holistic marketing hub, which does have, it's very similar. Our prompts aren't sent out on like a Monday, but we, it's inside of a content bank and you can go life savings. Yeah.

Like search whatever you want to search for. And then we add to it every month, which is where you would see the prompts like in your email. Cause we do add to it, but they're not just prompts. It's also fully written captions. We have some therapists in the program. I don't, I wouldn't say Uh, I would rather someone go get like therapy specific prompts from someone else, like then, but if you wanted to learn just like basic how to market your therapy practice on Instagram, definitely come over to the hub and I can totally help you.

And we do have a lot of like mental health content in general, which is like, okay, what's the difference in life coaching and a therapist and like, you know, a lot of nervous system stuff and a lot of other, you know, talking about the benefits of getting outside. And like you said, go touch grass, Michelle.

So we actually do have a lot of like mental health content and that therapists could use, but The biggest and like the best feedback I get from my students is exactly what you just said and to be full disclosure. Michelle's not in the hub, but is it's like once you start doing it. So one of my students, Dr.

Pip messaged me, um, just on Friday and she's like, I'll have to find the, find the DM. But she was basically like. It's so funny how easy this feels to me now to post a reel. Whereas before it just felt like I didn't even know the first step to take. Like I didn't even know what to do. And now it's just like she's like, now I can even make more complicated, like funnier ones with different angles.

And and I think that's like people are so afraid to do it wrong a couple of times. I always joke, I'm like, you're not creating. An heirloom art piece to hang above your mantle for years to come. Like it's very fleeting and if you just look at it as your first draft, like how freeing is that? Like here's my first draft.

I'm going to post it. Cool. Like what a mindset shift. Yeah. It's just my first draft. Like, just think of it that way. You want to delete it later? You totally can't. I mean, don't. But you could, if you wanted to. And then someone's going to swipe to the next thing. Yeah. And then they haven't thought about you anymore.

So like, there's so low pressure. But I love what you said, though, about like, once you got started, it became like, this like, awesome thing. easy muscle memory thing. What type of content are you finding is like the quickest for you to create?

Michelle: Probably two of my pillars, which ring, well, anxiety is probably the easiest, grief's the second, and then nervous system functioning.

And then what, like, like reels? Uh, reels. Probably. Same. Like, static posts are fine, but sometimes they even take more effort and thought, and I don't, I get more enjoyment, I think, out of Reels.

Molly: Yeah, I agree. I've gotten where I really rarely post anything else anymore just because it feels, Reels feels so low lift for me.

It's obviously different if I'm doing like a longer face to camera talking reel where I need to make some edits or something, but just if it's like a little b roll video with one of those, uh, I get you moments that we talked about and then, oh, that was, that was the other thing you said that I wanted to call attention to and I will close out with this is like, Uh, I think you probably hear this from other therapist friends or like I hear this from my students and clients.

It's like, I just don't know what to post. It's like, once you can train your brain, use that trusty reticular activating system, right? Am I getting it right therapist? Okay. Train your brain to look for those. And then you're like, You'll see them everywhere and then you'll, well, I don't know. I don't know if I wish what goes on in my brain for all of you because we have 30, I have 30 clients and so I'll be in the shower and I'm like, okay, wait, I just had this idea for Dr.

So and so and I'll like jump out of the shower and like put it into Slack because I just have ideas. 24 seven, but like, think about the conversations you're having with your clients or your patients throughout the day and either jot it down on your notes app or on a piece of paper or something. And it's like, no, like you said, even if it's like, well, I just find myself like wanting to just, I know I should make, make a healthy meal, but instead I'm just going through the drive thru because I'm out of time.

I'm like, there's a real, that's real life things that are happening.

Michelle: Yes. Yes. Exactly. Training your brain and doing your research to spend time on social media. Look at accounts that are similar to the niche that you provide and understand with the really good accounts that have a lot of followers. What are they doing?

What is their engagement like? What is happening in the captions? What's happening in the reels? What are the hooks like? What is the visual like?

Molly: That's actually a great point of I usually discourage people to follow a lot of their peers and colleagues only because it can put people in a comparison spin.

So I would say. tread lightly based on your personality type, but It is a great place for market research when you're just getting started and you're like, I don't know what to post. And then on these big influencer accounts, you can go see what people leave in the comments or what's their questions. And you're like, okay, well, if someone's asking this, it's a question people have, like, I'll go make a reel about that.

So if you were to leave people with one last, we'll do one last nervous system tip and then one last like go post something today tip. What would be, we'll start with the nervous system tip.

Michelle: Nervous system tip I think would be to just close your eyes before you decide to do something on social media.

Close your eyes, feel into your body, take a deep breath. And know that all is well, know that it's trial and error, know that it's you being an artist, a social media artist for whatever it is that you're doing. And uh, you know, not be too hard on yourself, be kind, use self compassion. And as far as a, just a tip in general, you are uniquely you.

There's nobody like you. There's nobody that does your exact thing. There's nobody that has had your life journey. You have tips that nobody else will, and then coming from you is very special. And I think that sometimes we question that and we shouldn't. Every single person is here for a reason and their information needs to be seen.

And if it just impacts one person, that's enough, that is enough.

Molly: I love that. And even the word just, I have a post idea about that, that I've been meaning to get out. It's like. I don't ever use the word, Oh, my posts flopped or like, Oh, my reach. I just got 500 views because I'm like, could you imagine those people standing in your living room?

And then you would look at them and go, Oh, only these 500 people saw it. Like

it's such a difference. Yeah. So try to flip it on its head like that. Okay. And if you had like a failure to launch, like just hit go. Tip. What would that be?

Michelle: Do it. Yeah. Ask yourself, what are you afraid of? And then jump over that thing. It's not as scary. Like you have to do exposure therapy, just and then deal with the consequences or the vulnerability hangover afterwards.

If you don't like it, delete it. You can do that. You have the power to do that. Move it back to your drafts, but try it. You're, Your information needs to be seen if you're working with clients, but you don't even have to be working with clients. But if you're working with clients, get your stuff out there.

It will help support so many people.

Molly: Yeah. I always tell people, remember your why, like my sister in law learned how to breastfeed by watching reels. And so when it becomes something that's not like, Oh, I should be on social media and rather like, why am I even doing this in the first place? It's so helpful.

Super helpful. Like, I'm going to go touch this tree right now and see, thank you. Touch the tree. And I'm glad you put that out there. Good. I'm glad. Well, thank you so much and good luck. Thank you. Are you, how are you feeling about defending the dissertation?

Michelle: Yeah, it's surreal. It's, it's funny though. It's, it's all in chronic pain and self compassion and gratitude and interventions, um, and women and, uh, good results.

They all worked. So I feel very grateful and it's quite an interesting experience to be almost completely healed.

Molly: 14 years, you said of school before we hit the first, that's amazing. Well, kudos to you. Um, you're doing amazing work and, um, I appreciate that there are people like you in the world because I don't think I have the mental, like the nervous system to handle other people's stuff as much.

I can be, like I said, the cheerleader. I'm not good at like sitting in the, so I'm like, I'm very glad there are people like you in the world. Happy to be here. Thanks for having me. for listening to holistic marketing simplified. And Hey, you know how every podcaster at the very end of their episode asks you to rate and review their podcast.

Well, that's because it's super important. These podcasts take a lot of time and heart and effort to produce, to bring you free information. So in order for me to be able to continue doing that, we need more people to find out about the show. So if you could please just take like two minutes out of your very busy day to leave me a rating and share this on your Instagram stories and tag at Molly A.

Cahill. C A H I L L. I would greatly, greatly appreciate your support. I know your time is valuable and I can't wait to see you in the next episode.